My EMDR Journey, Phase by Phase: A Personal Look at Healing and Rewiring My Brain

People often ask me about EMDR therapy and how it actually works. It’s a structured journey, designed to help your brain heal, almost like a carefully guided deep dive. And while everyone’s experience is unique – for me, a very creative and visual person – my subconscious was incredibly ready for change. It eagerly served up vivid visuals, which meant we moved quickly and saw powerful results. Even so, some deeply stored memories are still gently surfacing in bits and pieces, showing me how profound this work is.

One thing I always tell people: self-care after EMDR treatment is non-negotiable. I make sure to drink tons of water. And almost every time, my body insists on a nap. I clear my schedule after sessions because I’m genuinely exhausted – it’s no surprise, my brain is literally re-wiring itself!

Let me walk you through what happens in an EMDR session, from my personal viewpoint, phase by phase.

EMDR Phase 1: History Taking – Unearthing My Story

This was all about recalling memories. My therapist simply asked me to tell her everything that came to mind, from my earliest childhood right up to the present. It felt like a massive thought dump, and I’d just talk while she wrote. I could sometimes hear her pencil making what sounded like little circles on her paper as I spoke. There was no equipment here, just me remembering and sharing. The more I shared, the more memories seemed to surface, whether they were happy or painful. Whatever popped into my head, I’d offer it up.

Once we had this big list, we’d talk about which memories would be good EMDR treatment targets. My therapist was always so clear about our plan, identifying past events that sparked current problems, present situations that caused distress, and new skills I wanted to learn. What’s cool is, even though I tend to share a lot, I learned that you don’t always need to share every detail; a general picture is often enough for the brain to start working with.

EMDR Phase 2: Preparation – Building My Inner Strength

Next came EMDR Phase 2: Preparation. This phase was really important for building trust between my therapist and me. Before we dove deep, she made sure I had several different ways to handle tough emotions. She taught me various imagery and stress reduction techniques – little mental tools I could use during sessions and especially if I felt overwhelmed between sessions. The goal was to help me feel stable and balanced as my brain started its rapid, powerful work. It took a few sessions for me to feel truly prepared, ready to open my heart, mind, and soul to this process.

This phase was a gift because it taught me how to truly take care of myself if unexpected stresses or old triggers popped up outside of a session. It was empowering to have these tools.

EMDR Phase 3: Assessment – Connecting the Past to the Present

In EMDR Phase 3: Assessment, we started to pinpoint the core issues. My therapist would prompt me to access a specific target memory we’d chosen earlier.

First, I’d pick a vivid image or mental picture that best represented that memory. Then, I’d identify the negative belief I held about myself that was linked to that event. Even if my thinking brain knew it wasn’t true, my emotional brain felt it. Common ones were things like, “I’m not lovable,” “I’m worthless,” or “I’m ashamed.” These were the verbalizations of those deep, disturbing emotions still held within me.

Then came the really transformative part: I’d visualize the ‘me’ from the past in that image and ask her what she needed. Often, she just needed to be held, or told she was safe, or that she was smart. I’d then visualize myself giving her that comfort and pick a positive statement I wanted to believe instead – something that gave me an internal sense of control, like “I’m lovable,” “I’m safe now,” or “I’m in control of the situation.”

I remember my own experience during the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. The negative cognition was “I’m in danger.” The positive cognition became “I’m safe now.” That intense fear from the earthquake was inappropriate in the present because the danger was past, but it was locked in my nervous system, ready to be triggered by anything similar, like the ground shaking. The idea was to disassociate that raw feeling of fear from the memory itself, to eliminate future triggers. It’s truly amazing how the brain works!

EMDR Phase 4: Desensitization – Feeling the Shift

This is where the real work of EMDR reprocessing happens for me – EMDR Phase 4: Desensitization. As I focused on the target memory, we worked through any disturbing emotions and physical sensations that arose. My therapist used the bilateral stimulation (like the hand paddles or a light bar) to help my brain process. It’s like my brain was finally able to sort through and file away experiences that got “stuck.”

This phase also allowed me to identify and resolve other, similar events that might have been connected to the main target. Because my brain is so comfortable with the EMDR process now, once I get a vision and work through it with new beliefs, I often get several related visions one right after the other. We can then reprocess all of them in the same session, especially during my longer 90-minute appointments. For a single trauma, the core reprocessing often happens surprisingly fast, sometimes within three sessions.

EMDR Phase 5: Installation – Making Positive Beliefs Stick

After releasing the negative charge, EMDR Phase 5: Installation focuses on truly strengthening that new, positive belief I’m adopting. The goal is to make it feel deeply, genuinely true.

EMDR therapy won’t make you shed appropriate negative feelings or believe something that isn’t true. For example, if part of me knew I needed to take a self-defense class to truly feel safe, the positive belief “I am safe now” might not fully “install” until I took that action. We work until that positive self-statement is truly felt and believed, not just intellectually, but deep in my core.

EMDR Phase 6: Body Scan – Releasing Physical Echoes

After strengthening those positive beliefs, EMDR Phase 6: Body Scan brings attention back to the body. My therapist would ask me to bring the original target memory to mind and check for any lingering tension or sensations anywhere in my body.

It’s incredible how much our bodies hold onto! Evaluations of countless EMDR sessions confirm that unresolved thoughts can manifest as physical responses. Trauma information can get stored in “body memory,” keeping those old feelings and physical sensations alive. But when that information is properly processed through EMDR, it moves to narrative memory, and those body sensations and negative feelings literally disappear. An EMDR session isn’t considered complete until I can bring up the original target without feeling any physical tension. It’s about feeling those positive self-beliefs, not just thinking them.

EMDR Phase 7: Closure – Integrating and Preparing

At the end of each session, we moved into EMDR Phase 7: Closure. My therapist would ask me to keep a log during the week, noting any related material that might come up. It also served as a great reminder to use those self-calming activities I learned in Phase 2, helping me stay grounded and balanced between sessions.

EMDR Phase 8: Reevaluation – Sustaining My Freedom

Finally, EMDR Phase 8: Reevaluation is where we examine the progress made. At the start of subsequent sessions, my therapist would check to make sure the positive results – low emotional distress, high positive belief, no body tension – had held strong. We’d also identify any new areas or targets that needed attention, guiding the continued EMDR treatment plan.

This phase is vital for long-term success. The goal is to process all related historical events, current distress, and even prepare for future situations with new, healthier responses. Just like finishing an entire course of antibiotics, completing all 8 phases of EMDR treatment is crucial for truly sustainable healing. Even though relief can come almost immediately with EMDR, this thorough process ensures deep, lasting change.